I did something right
I earned myself that coveted title
A word or two on a clipboard,
A disinfected white hallway- leading to nowhere.
I sat at the piano, didn't touch the food
Played the same songs again and again
in a room unworthy of music
Pills, blood and peaches in the metal sink, panic.
Old habits die hard.
Squeezing my reflection into a plastic mirror
Punishing my own inconsolable fury
with a heave, a slash, or a refusal.
Sealing my lips and finding my silence
Locked within a room, a body, a mind,
That is just too much, too often